Hey Hey.

Hey everyone!!

I am here!! and yes I haven't been blogging for while. Can anyone guess why??

leave a comment below and guess why

Crush Update

It's been a while since I last blogged.

So here is a little update on my whole "crush" situation thing.

I don't have a crush on him any more, and I am not "in a relationship" with him. It took me like 4 months to realize it. Why you ask??

He is not where I need to be as a person. He is still needs to discover himself. He needs to be an individual first before I can date him. Like he needs to know who he is and where he is going. Do you get where I am going??

So there you you ladies and gents, a small update on that situation.

Dear Crush,

If you read my last blog, you would know who this blog is directed to.

Dear Crush,

It has almost bee a week since I last saw you, and I cannot stop thinking about you. The last month of school I have developed feelings for you. I am so happy that I will be seeing you this week. You know, it has been crazy. I keep looking at your profile and everything. You know, I am really glad that when I told you I had feelings for you, you told me you had feelings for me too. Butterflies, I felt it. I hope these feelings do not go away but grow. Please, do not hold back on anything.

Love

me.

My Grad Kiss...

Well, I graduated High School on Monday. Our ceremony was on Monday and the Grad Dance(like a prom) was on Tuesday. You know, originally my date was a friend of mine that I had a crush on for almost a year but he couldn't come anymore. So, I asked a childhood friend if he wanted to go with me cause he seemed desperate for a date. I asked him a month before the dance. So, within that month, one thing lead to another, and it seemed like he started to like me, and I started to like him.

None of us said nothing about the feelings. Although it seemed like he really did like me. He always talked about these 3 tasks that he wanted to do before the graduation. 3 task that he would have to do throughout his High School career. Here are his 3 tasks:

1. To have a girlfriend(he had one in grade 9)
2. To go on a first date (he got one at a school dance)
3. To have his first kiss

The last one he never got before the grad dance. Well when the grad dance came we was such a gentile man.... and we were being all "couple-like" on this day. It was really nice.... I really never knew that I would develop feelings for a childhood friend like him. It such a crazy feeling!! I never really felt this for my boyfriend that I had back in grade 10. Even though my grade 10 boyfriend was my first kiss. This guy that had a date with seemed so much better.

It was near the end of the night and my date took me out to the lobby and he asked me if I would be the one to finish his 3 tasks for him. Then it happened... I was his "last task" You know my crush before (original date) I don't really have a crush on him no more.... I think I MIGHT have feelings for Marlon Mendoza.....

Co-op Friends

Don't you hate certain parts of life??

Like, once you get close to someone then life can pull you away!!

You know I just finished my final semester in High School!! I am glad I have graduated, and out of the halls of my school. But the thing is..... I miss my final semester.....

Well only my co-op placement. You know, I have been going there everyday, Monday-Thursday. I got so close to my fellow co-op students. It is kinda sad because we are not going to see each other everyday.

I will miss them so much....

Kinda confused

I am kinda confused right now.
Many things in my mind right now. My emotions are taking a big hit right now.

At this point in my life, with everything happening, this are the emotions I feel right now...

- Upset
- Angry
- Love
- Inspired
- Stressed
and many other things I cannot describe.

You know what... my head is so jumbled... I cannot even think straight for this blogg...

peace my friends

FIFA WORLD CUP 2010

I was always one of those people that never really followed or payed attention to the FIFA WORLD CUP!! Not until this year. I have a few friends that got me looking at who is winning and everything so yeah. Right now I do not have a specific team that I am cheering for, but maybe in the future I will. We will see....

I am not against any sport played in this world. I am definitely not against soccer(football). Althigh, I cannot believe how big the sport of soccer(football) really is. You know, you can go to any country and everyone knows the general idea of soccer (with the acceptation of some countries). I also cannot believe how so many people get into watching the WORLD CUP!! It is honestly crazy!! You see so many people in the stands during a WORLD CUP game. It's like sold out!! So many people cheering for their team!! It brings people together, but a the same time, it can tear people apart throughout the duration of the WORLD CUP.

I can honestly say that it brought me closer to some friends. Since I was never really interested in watching the WORLD CUP, my friends suggested that I should start watching it. I was like "okay....." I didn't really take their suggestion at heart at first, but I actually started to keep track on who is winning and losing. Then I actually stated to watch parts of games. It is all because of my friends suggesting that I do watch it. As soon as I told them that I have been keeping track of scores, and watching parts of games, it brought me closer to that specific group of friends. We started to watch some games together, and keeping each other updated when one of us misses a game. You know that type of thing. As I said before, I don't have a team to cheer for yet, but I am happy that it brought me closer to some of my friends.

what are your thoughts on the WORLD CUP??

Small Update

Hey guys!!! havent been blogging for awhile!!

So here it is, my update on like the past month!! So since the film competition I did with the 24squared group, it has been crazy!! At my school we had a production of "Bye Bye Birdie." I went to see it and I was really impressed with the acting and everything. It was pretty amazing.

I was suppost to go see the production of "Grease" at my friend's school, but I was un able to!!! I was really upset that I couldn't go. Even though she did not have one of the lead roles, I still wanted to see her up on that stage, doing what she enjoys. You know, I promised her a rose on opening night, and I couldn't go. She wasn't expecting me to give her a rose on the opening night since I wasn't going. But I gave it to her anyway. I sent a single red rose and a card with her sister. I got a message back saying that I made her day and I gave her encouragement to perform well. Getting that message saying that I made her day and all, it filled my heart with such great joy.

Umm, what else happened to me this past month??

Well, May was my busy month. I had dance practice, video editing, and so many school assignments. So, I was working hard for the past month, especially the last 2 weeks. It is all over though, no more stress on my back till finals.

So yeah, if you guys want to see my video and my dance...
here it is.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TG-7nrD0HWk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0GI4zqAHhQM&feature=related

Thanks

Hey hey!!
I hope everyone is well. I would just like to take the time to say thank you!! Some of you have been leaving comments and stuff. So I would like to say thank you for commenting and reading. Although I do not understand some of the comments because they are written in a different language, I still appreciate your comments. So yeah, thank you for reading the rants I do here on my blog.

thanks

ceLLy tigs

24squared

Okay guys.... last week i was at a 24 hour film competition. You have to create a movie within a 24 hour time period. I have a co-op placement at a local TV station. I work alongside TV professionals and 3 other co-op students from other high schools in town.

So, the 4 of us co-op students decided to go for this 24 hour film competition. We were always a team during our co-op but we even became more of a team after this competition. We spent a full 24 hours together planning, laughing, filming, editing, and bonding.

I am so glad to be able to work with such great people. You know, we may come from many diffferent walks of life. It is great that we are able to come together and have a great time doing it. I honestly can say that I admire these good people. You know, I even made a new friend during this 24 hour film competition.

All I really want to say is that I am really blessed to be able to work with these people around me. I can say all positive things about them, but that is a different blog...

peace for now....

The Power Of A Prayer

I grew up in a Christian home. Where we went to church every Sunday, we pray together as a family etc. I never really thought about it. I just went through the words not thinking abaout the meaning. Not taking it to heart. When I grew older, prayer became an indepedant thing.

Every time I would go to bed, say a prayer...
Every time I would wake up, say a prayer...

I would just go through the words. Again, not taking it to heart, not thinking how big the impact it is to pray. Not thinking that God actually plays a big part of my life. At the time, He really did play a big role in my life, in a sense. I always had seen my parents pray really hard, and as a child, I was really influenced by my parents. So, I would go through the actions like my parents. Even when I pray independently. FOLLOWING??

Okay, let's fast forward to my GRADE 8 year. This was the year of when I got confirmed in the Catholic-Christian faith. This was the year when I was graduating and moving on into high school!! Exciting stuff eh?? After June came, when I graduated, I started to.... I guess... not care about praying often. So I started to gradually not pray as frequently and consistently as I did before. So going into high school, I was excited for the new year and everything!! GRADE 9 was a year of discovery of a new school and finding out how that system works. At that same time, my faith and spiritual life seemed to start fading slowly. Along with my faith was my sense of identity and pride. Less praying, Less interested to go to church, I wasn't interested to live a faith-filled life like I was when I was growing up. That is what my parents implemented in me from the very start!! Come GRADE 10 and my relationship with God was non-existent. My faith and spiritual life was not there anymore.

At this point of my life... everything was a wreck!!

- Faith/ Spirituality

- My sense of identity
- My emotions

- My family

- My grades

and just to add to that is that I was lonely!! and I was walking on this earth lost, not knowing what I was doing and why I was living!! I was walking around confused!!....................... yeah..................... things were not going good for me at this point!!

Well, when I was finishing up my GRADE 10 year, My life had made a full 360!! I had a life changing experience. I am not going to tell you about it cause we will be here forever!! This life changing experience taught my how to pray again. Not just go through the actions, but really meaning what I say to God!! I started to pray through my heart. I started to have a true relationship with him!!

You know, I am really strong in my faith now. But I am not a perfect person. So, sometimes I would not pray for like a month and a little bit, and in that time I literary start to get "emotionally sick."

So with the power of the prayer keeps me alive, and keeps me healthy and keeps me on the right track. I ACCEPT GOD IN MY LIFE AND HE IS A GOOD FRIEND OF MINE!!

Inspired By You

I feel a little inspired.

During the weekend, I was at a Leader Training for my YFC chapter. I am now a Household head...... that is not the point. The point is not my position in YFC. The point is that I am inspired by the brothers and sisters that are now leaders.

I believe that these people are actually willing to serve for God in YFC. I believe that they agreed to be leaders because their heat for God... make sense??

You know I can honestly say that I love these people and with these people, we can bring YFC Hamilton to where it needs to be. I am so inspired by these people I will be working with.

I have so much more to say, but I will keep it short. I might blog more about subject, depending.

The bottom line is that I am inspired by these people and by God.

Give And take

Hey everyone!!

I know I haven't been blogging for a while. It's just because that I hadn't had any decent time to myself and hadn't had any inpirations for my blog topics. I probably will post up some of my poetry stuff up soon times. Anyway, this is a new blog for you. Here it is.

_____________________________________________________

I feel like that I keep giving myself with nothing in return. Like, I am always trying to provide for others the best I can. I always, I guess, feed to a relationship. But I what am I getting. At the end of the day, I feel happy that I can give so much to a friend and that they are always satified.

I always find my fill when I give to others. I always find my fill when I know that I did somethng to someone or said something to make them good. The thing that hurts me though, is that they do not give the same back. In any relatonship, it should be a give and take type thing.

I am always giving, they are always taking but how about the other way around?? Can' t they see that I always show my love to them?? I guess this is similar to my "BEING ON THE SIDELINES" post and the last post I posted.

Then again,
- Maybe they would come around and we can have a give and take relationsip that I always wanted.
- Maybe something good would happen to me later on. (karma)
- Maybe this can be a test of my patience and I just have to wait for them to realize that they aren'y giving enough

What do you think??

The reason why I give a lot of myself, it's because I have the strength to love a lot. Everyone needs that someone that loves them a lot.

not thinking much

You know, you can think of things all you want. You can think that you are being left behind or forgotten or under appreciated or you may feel that you are a friend "left on the sidelines." It may seem that way, but it may not always be the case.

I'm always thinking that I am "left on the sidelines," but really it's not true. You know I am thinking like that right now, but there are signs telling me that is not true. My best friend doesn't just leave me on the sidelines.

There are signs of that. So I always try to think the most positive, and not think very much.

Thinking

You know, things in life do get really confusing.
I have a tendency to over think things.

I know that I have many people around me that love me. Friends and family.

You know... people do not always show they love you in the ways that you want to. I am currently in that situation. I always question if my friends and family, especially friends, if they really do love me. I always ask myself "why don't they do this" or "why don't they do that" to show their love.

But the thing is, patience. Just be patient with your loved ones, cause they love you. They have other ways to show their love.

I Might Be Selfish

You know, with friendships there are ups and downs right??

I have to constantly remind myself of that.

I have blogged about my best friend before. I am going to do it again today!!!

Yeah, I guess we are experiencing the down part of our friendship. Just because I don't feel the closeness like I do at different times. I feel like that she is putting my on the sidelines (refer to my last post).

I am willing to be close with her again. But is she?? that is the question. I feel like that she is not willing... gets it?? Although, that may not be the case.

The non-closeness can be caused by me as well, I just may be too selfish and just want to keep her all to myself. Then again, why can't I feel her part of our friendship??

Do you get it??

I guess I will keep doing my part, and we will see if she would acknowledge the best friend on the sidelines.

BEING ON THE SIDLINES

Okay, everybody knows about sports. Like I am talking about sports in general!! There are the players on the field/court playing the game, and there are the people on the sidelines that don't get to play. They are still apart of the team. They are the ones who cheer on their fellow team members, and often the un-acknowledged ones. Just because they are not the ones on the field/court.

The players on the field/court always acknowledge the people in the stands that are cheering, but never the other players on the bench. Truly, the extra players on the bench are the extra players in the court that help the team be successful.

The people on the bench, often feel left out. Not because they aren't being played. It's because they are not being acknowledged my their fellow team mates. The ones that the bench warmers cheer on.

__________________________________________________________

Suppose that your friend is one of the players that is always put on the field/court.

You are the one on the bench.

Suppose that the game became that person's life.

You are always building up that person. Always giving to that person (doesn't have to be material goods).

But then that person never acknowledges you.

Now, you become the bench warmer, the person on the sideline that the player (your friend) never acknowledges. Never gives back to that person.

__________________________________________________________

Sometimes I feel like that person on the sidelines.
I am always being there whenever my friends need it.
I am always willing to make time for a friend.
I am always wanting the best for a friend.
I am always looking out for my friend.

All I ask in return, is the gift of time.
Or just a simple text message or phone call
Saying, "Good Morning" "How was your day"
Saying, "Do you know what happened today...."

All I ask is just a simple, "Hey do you want to chill??"
Or "Hey do you want to come over??"

do you ever feel like the friend on the sidelines??

Are you one of those people that no one calls??
Are you one of those people that only gets calls when people need you??
Are you one of those people that have to give the calls??

Are you one of those people that gets no texts??
Are you one of those people that sends text and only gets one word text or no text at all??

Are you one of those people that get no facebook wall posts??
Are you one of those people that looks on facebook and sees everyone else's wall is full of people??

I am one of those people. I don't understand it, I know people, I be nice and try to be friend everyone. But at the end of the day, I am alone. No one be like "hey what's up" no one gives me a call, just to talk. I would love to just talk to someone on the phone. Doesn't matter if it is just about what ever. It doesn't matter what we talk about. I just would like to talk someone!!

LIKE DUDE!! I am damn lonely at the end of the day. It would be nice to just get a call from someone to say... "let's just talk" or just a simple "i miss you" but then again.... I feel like no one loves me. Even though people say it, they don't show it. I definitely don't feel loved. Yeah, I don't get any shit from any one!!! Like serious dude!!

I HATE THIS FEELING!! I check my facebook everyday.... but for what?? It's not like somebody messaged me or anything!! I leave my MSN (instant messaging) on. BUT FOR WHAT!! It's not like someone is ganna leave me a message!! Like who cares about ME!!

Just a useless piece of meat on the sidelines of everyone's LIFE!! I AM NOT IN THE BALL GAME!!

Emotions Taking me Over

You know this pas month has been an emotional roller coaster. I'm not sure if i should refer it as that but I have been like really "emotionally sick." If you can say it that way. Here is what I have been feeling like different... stuff... I just feel like I need something to revive me back to how happy I was. Like I'm not sure what happened but before the Christmas holidays I was happy right then after coming into the year of 2010, I don't know what happened right after that.

You know, it's probably my tendency to over think things. I should stop like thinking to much. Like, the situations I'm in, I start thinking all the 'COULD OF' SHOULD OF' 'WOULD OF' 'WHY DID THIS HAPPEN' or just over thinking a certain situation. With everything that's happening this is what i feel at the end of the day.

- lonely
- sadness
- anger
- hopeless

I haven't felt like this for years. Well, I don't know. We will see what happens after this month if over. We will see how things change... maybe I'll come out if it...

peace and love

ceLLy tigs

DISTRACTIONS!!

Okay people!! or who ever is reading this... (prob no one)

yes as the title states.... I AM DISTRACTED!! Uber distracted. Okay, I am suppose to do my final project for my English class. But I am being really distracted by facebook, youtube, and yes!! I am done my rough copy... now I have to type out my good copy... and yeah.... I'll get it finished though... IN NO TIME!!

peace and love

<3 ceLLy t

MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Okay y'all this must be the best Christmas and New Year yet!! Honestly, I felt like I was living in a dream!! It was great!!

For Christmas, me and my family went to a city that was 3 hours away to go to the family party (on my mom's side). While we where there, we went to another party that our friend's there invited us to. The family party was on the boxing day (26th) and the other party was on Christmas day (25th). Yeah at the first party the one our friend's party. It was funny cause it was with this all these games and fun fun stuff. Bonded better with the people there. Then the family party came, it was awesome!! All the family was there, and everything was amazing. We all had fun together. It was just GREAT!!! I can't really explain it.... Oh, did I mention that i made a video for them?? Yeah that went well.

For new year's eve, me and my family actually bonded. It was a beautiful thing. The first time in 3 / 4 years, I felt like I was in the family. And I felt like, my parents were my parents on an emotional level, and I felt like me and my sister bonded the most.

peace and love
<3 ceLLy tig.